SIMPLE THOUGHTS

beyond my castle

2008-04-18T23:23:00.000-07:00

In a few months it will be a year since i last opened this account. gosh! i can't believe that i could have gone on for so long without writing. That is so not me. Well lately, i don't really feel like me anymore. So much has happened and is happening that i can barely put anything into words anymore.

The princess has gone way beyond the walls of her castle. She has encountered so much adventures. She chose to go off the path and she LEARNED. yup, through the hard way, she learned never to rush, never to assume, never to believe that things will always be the way they are. Yes, she truly is a princess. Wherever she goes, she finds throngs of people willing to please and love her. Yet no matter how much she wants to return all that, she still ends up hurting all those who wanted nothing but to make her happy. Maybe the ways of the castle is what made her into a selfish brat who knows nothing but to make others cry, make them sad, and then make them blame themselves. Its weird, what kind of gift or curse she has that nobody thinks she's to blame on anything and turn on themselves instead.

The world offers itself at her feet but how can she be happy? The path's too rough and the forest too thick that all she wants now is to go back to her castle and sleep and dream of the day that her imprisoned heart will be set free and her unwillful mind will finally see all the answers...

2007-06-07T06:29:00.001-07:00

the writer

2007-06-07T05:36:00.000-07:00

The writer's hand also becomes tired...

It becomes fed up with stringing words, creating a world that does not exist, indulging one's self into fantasies that are neither real nor possible.

Sometimes the pen also loses its ink, it becomes tired of writing lies, useless stuff that does nothing but create an illussion. An illusion when uncovered will bring nothing but grief, like the truth that only hurts.

Sometimes the paper is better left alone, its pureness is better left preserved. That way words will not be able to contaminate its innocence.

They say writers have the wildest imagination because they are capable of making a few simple words come to life. Yet sometimes its unhealthy to live in a world of imagination because once you woke up, the numbness subsides and unbearable pain follows.

So, its better to just let the writer's hand keep quiet. Its better to focus only on what is real and not on the world the hand writes. Because most of the time, the pain the real world gives is easier to cope with than the pain a sudden wake up call pushes on you.

harry

2007-05-16T05:08:00.000-07:00

REALLY REALLY EXCITED FOR THE FIFTH HARRY POTTER MOVIE - HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

JULY 13, 2007!

may 14

2007-05-16T04:35:00.000-07:00

May 14 Elections: Ito ang aking unang beses na bumoto. Kung iisipin malayo sa magulong eleksyon na ating napapanood sa TV ang aking naranasan. Hindi rin ako sa loob ng classroom bumoto. Sa basketball court dinaos ang botohan dito at walang masyadong tao. Wala pang 30 minutes ay tapos na ang aking pagsagawa sa isa sa aking mga karapatan-ang bumoto. Pero kung naging madali sa akin ito, alam ko na hindi lahat ay naging kasing swerte ko. Maraming tao sa ibang lugar ang kinailangan pang masaktan o magbuwis ng buhay para lang sa eleksyon. Walang kwentang pagkamatay kung iisipin. Buhay para lang sa pagnanais ng iba na magkaroon ng pera at kapangyarihan. Kung pwede lang sana na maging simple ang pagboto. Sana sa susunod na maging bahagi ako nito, wala ng karahasan na maririnig sa balita. Sana simpleng pagsulat na lang ng pangalan sa balota at mapayapang pagbibilang.

2007-05-10T07:21:00.000-07:00

Way back into love

I've been living with a shadow overhead

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I've been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need em again someday

I've been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

Oh oh oh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I've been searching but I just don't see the signs

I know that it's out there

There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not just somebody just to get me throught the night

I could use some direction

And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart again

I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel I need inspiration

Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you I'm hoping you'll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again

You know that I'll be there for you in the end

......

2007-05-10T07:15:00.000-07:00

"No Ordinary Love"

This could have been just another day

But instead we're standing here

No need for words, it's all been said

in the way you hold me near

I was alone on this journey

You came along to comfort me

Everything I want in life is right here

[Chorus:]

cause

This is not your ordinary

no ordinary love

I was not prepared enough to fall so deep in love

This is not your ordinary no ordinary love

You were the first to touch my heart

Made everything right again with your extraordinary love

[Chorus]

I get so weak when you look at me

I get lost inside your eyes

sometimes the magic is hard to believe

but you're here before my weary eyes

you brought joy to my world set me so free

I want you to understand

you are every breath that I breathe

[Chorus]

From the very first time that we kissed

I knew that I just couldn't let you go at all

From this day on, remember this:

That you're the only one that I adore

Can't we make this last forever

This can't be a dream cause it feels so good to me

[Chorus x2]

monsters....?

2007-04-24T04:07:00.000-07:00

Whoever said that monsters in movies are not capable of sadness and hurt? i think that they too found no escape from this fate. Most of them has their own stories why they ever became monsters. Even the feared Sadako has her good side and sob story in Ring O. We cannot escape from it. Heartaches, frustration, loss and pain are parts of our lives. No matter how we try to run or hide in our shells to get protected, we'll never be able to get away from it. We'll hurt others and they'll hurt us. Its part of the cycle of life. All we have to remember is that every monster story we feared when we were children has a corresponding fairy tale with a happy ending. And if such fairy tales are hard to find, there's always monsters inc. where we'll find kitty and mike, monsters who makes us smile. Life may throw all kinds of stones at us but we should never be scared. Or else we'll end up like these monsters...

2007-04-23T05:41:00.001-07:00

2007-04-23T05:36:00.000-07:00

2007-04-23T05:21:00.000-07:00

2007-04-23T05:14:00.000-07:00

.........

2007-04-23T05:11:00.000-07:00

2007-04-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

This is BSA 2A's bonding at Vista del Rio. It is the first time that we went somewhere as a class. It was loads of fun though very difficult to organize..hehe.. Sobrang saya namin kasi kahit papano medyo buong class ang nautong sumama. haha. Times like this are hard to do over again. At least this pic will remind us kung gaano kami kasaya with each other kahit maglalaho na yung iba. Gud luck guys! =)

opposites

2007-03-03T19:22:00.000-08:00

Life is filled with opposites. You laugh today then cry tomorrow. You try to be good but end up being a bad person and hurting evryone. You try to find light but you can never escape from darkness. You end up so confused. Torn between what you want and what others want for you. Until one day you just stop, pretend that everything is alright but inside you the battle goes on. The silent tears of your soul pours. It reminds you of a time when everything was simple and happiness was just around the corner. A time when you never had to choose because there was nothing to lose.. A time that is long gone...

"Life is a tension of opposites. You want to do one thing but you are bound to do another" ---------Tuesdays with Morrie..Mitch Albom----------.

2007-02-17T04:37:00.000-08:00

2007-02-17T04:26:00.000-08:00

2007-02-17T04:23:00.000-08:00

2007-02-17T04:19:00.000-08:00

2007-02-17T04:07:00.000-08:00

2007-02-17T03:42:00.000-08:00

Snow White ate a poisonous apple before he found prince charming.

Cinderella needed a fairy godmother just to be able to attend the ball.

Sleeping Beauty waited a hundred years before his prince woke him up.

Belle almost missed the inner beauty of the beast because of his appearance.

Ariel had to change herself just to be with her loved one.

Jasmine and Aladdin needed a genie for their love story.

Love never came easy, even for those in fairy tales, so never expect that yours will come without hardship. That's impossible. Love only finds a happy ending after all the tears run dry, after sacrifices has been made and hearts had been broken. Most of the time, the sweetest love story comes from the hardest one. Its not true that happy endings are only in fairy tales. All of us will find happy endings, it just waits for the right time. So don't fret if yours is not here yet, remember what the emperor in Disney's Mulan said, "The flower that blooms in adversity becomes the most beautiful of them all".

2007-02-16T04:40:00.000-08:00

Fog

Whiteness glimmers in
Dawn bends through the pane
Fog, soft as cobwebs
Clinging
Close as a lingering ache,
orRejected love
Mournful, ashen cheeked
Muted, beautiful,
Leeching naïve day
To congealed moonlight--
Milky wormwood memory
Warm breath once shared

Mist on the mirror
Atomized shimmering droplets
Breath on a cold silver mirrorMist

--ADAPTED--

random musings

2007-02-14T04:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day! =)

my first post in a long time. i kinda missed blogging. hehehe.

celebrated my 18th bday last feb 12 and i thank all those who shared in my special day. thank you thank you. it was fun and kinda overwhelming. i never knew so many people found me important. Thank you to all those who came last feb 10, to those who greeted me personally, to those who texted, those who greeted at twelve midnight, s mga ngcountdown, s mga tumawag (mga nkglobe n ng ten cents per second..hehe), s mga ngmessage at ngiwan ng testi s friendster ko. THANK YOU!!!

Valentines...the big day for lovers. Its the one day of the year when flowers and balloons and chocolates pour. Though I didn't get anything from any special someone this year, i'm still happy. I celebrated it with my friends. I got wacky letters from them and we ate at Mcdonalds. Valentines day ended with bubblegum flavor Mcfloat and french fries. (courtesy ng mga nauto nmen ni jen..hehe)

If someone asks me what is the state of my love life this valentines, i'll say its how i wanted it to be. A movie once said "every woman has the exact love life that she wants" and in more ways than one, it is true. People who think it a necessity to have a special someone seem to always find a date and those who wish to stay single and enjoy alone do so. It is not whether you're sad or happy, you feel what you want to feel. and right now, i enjoy the lack of complications in my life. =)

"it was a song that made me think. it was that song that made me feel special.. loved.. but it was also that song that taught me not to take advantage. It taught me not to hurt and though that song still plays, though it still causes pain, i know i've done my best to stop the tears. The song brought me happiness but if it causes someone else to cry then i guess it was never meant to be played."

pErsOnaLity Test

2006-08-11T06:36:00.000-07:00

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

mE..thE cEnteUr..hehehe

2006-08-11T05:38:00.002-07:00

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person.
However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways.
You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order.
You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

wRitEr...

2006-08-11T05:38:00.001-07:00

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.
You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.
Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.
And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

nUmbEr!!!! =)

2006-08-11T05:38:00.000-07:00

Your Love Number is 1

You tend to be a stubborn lover, holding your ground in every argument
You take your time falling in love. You aren't the type to lose perspective.
You are loyal (to a fault), and you require the same loyalty in your sweetheart.
At your best, you are a wise and inspiring partner - who sticks around.

What Is Your Love Number?

2006-08-04T19:26:00.000-07:00

Business days are over...pagkatapos ng maraming aberya dahil sa mga bagyo...

Thursday

It started with the opening program where the professors just talk and talk and talk...Then we get to watch an exhibition game between faculty and sub ssc officers. It was hilarious. Then in the afternoon was the dating game. Jen got the luck of being picked as one of the searchees. She was so shocked. Binugbog nya ko n prng ako ang bumunot sa name nya. In the end she turned it into a big joke. She answered every question in a weird, full of humor way. haha
That night was acoustic night. Verna joined as part of one of the bands and they ended in third place. So three cheers for Verna! =)

Friday

Friday started in a very confusing way. We all got messed up with the time we're all supposed to meet. Verna, Jen and Rhea went to school at 9 while Jovy, Phee, Hazel, Keila and me knew that the meeting time was 11. And Anne...was clueless. Nauwi s sumbatan n mdjo konting tampuhan n naayos dn nman bgo gabi.
Ang agenda nmen is to make our scrapbook for our group. We have this group where we share stuff and read verses from the bible and talk about it. Parang BEC nung highschool. So we trotted off to Mcdo and overstayed...hehehe...
That night was socials with matching bingo. Sayang di kami nanalo. Sayang ang 5000 n prize money. hehehe Socials was fun pero KJ daw ako dhil ayokong sumayaw. Oh well ganyan talaga ang buhay...hehehe...

2006-07-30T20:43:00.000-07:00

LOVE SURVEY.........WEIRD!!!!.........HAHAHA

How many times can you honestly say
you've
been in love?
>> d p yata..haha

Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
>> hmmm...yeS

Do you think that you should become friends
with someone first? y?
>> yEs, pRa mging cOmfoRtable kau...

Have you ever had your heart broken?
>> nOt riLi...d p nainlOve eh...

What do you think about long-distance
relationships?
>> it wiLl take real haRd wOrk.

Your thoughts on online relationships?
>> tRaditionaL xe aku eh..sO not riLi intO it...

Would you rather date someone five years
older or five years younger?y?
>> 5 yearS older...gUys dnt maturE easily...

Have you ever seen a friend as more than a
friend? how many?
>> mdjO...oncE

Do you believe in the statement, "Once a cheater
always a cheater"?
>> nOt reaLly...everybOdy deseRves a sEcond chancE..

Have you ever loved someone so much that it
hurt & you cried?
>> i cRied but was nOt sure if its lovE

How many kids do you want to have?
>> 2...haha

Do you usually fall for a wrong guy/girl or the
right guy/girl?
>> di kO aLam...

What is your favorite color?
>> pUrplE

What are your views on gay marriages?
>> i nEither accEpt nOr rejEct it...

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
>> yaTa...i'm nOt sure kng nbReaK nga ung hart nya...hehehe

Have you ever given or been given roses?
>> given...nopE bEen givEn...yeS

Are you the one who makes the move or do
you wait for them to make the move?
>> wAit......

What is your all time favorite romance movie?
>> a wALk tO rEmembEr...

Imagine you're 79 & your spouse/wife just
died,would you remarry after they died & you were
married for 60 years?y?
>> nOpe...i'll bE tOo oLd 4 dat...

Is remarriage betrayal?
>> nOt rEally...

At what age did you start noticing the
opposite/same sex? and who?
>> gRade 5 aku nun...eWan n kng cnO..hehe

What song do you want played as you walk
down the aisle?
>> thE traditional sOng...

Are most high school kids infatuated or in love?
>> infAtuatEd...

Who was your first love?
>> hmm.. ewan...haha

What's the longest you've ever liked someone?
and who?
>> 4 yeArs...d kO ssbihin kng cnO...haha

Would you give up everything for love?
>> hndE lahat...

Will your life be incomplete without love?
>> xempre nmn..

What do you notice first in a guy/girl?
>> ung eyEs

What do you like most about your crush?
>> kaLokohan nya...haha

Do you like someone?
>> right now? mAybE

Want to get married?
>> pG mayaman n kO...hehehe

2006-07-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

When There Was Me And You - VANESSA ANNE HUDGENS

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song

Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind

Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

2006-07-29T05:42:00.000-07:00

When God gives us something, it should serve a purpose. It should either make us happy or make us stronger. Or at least, ito ang paniwala ko...dba nga kung ano ang pinaniniwalaan mo, un n ang ngging lifestyle mo...haaaay...ano nga b 2ng mga cnasabi ko?...

Sana hindi n lng ako ganito...

Sana umayos ang takbo ng utak ko...

Sana bato n lng ako...

Sana hindi bawiin 2ng saya n to...

Sana maintindihan kong hindi ako dpat mgng masaya...

Sana naiintindihan ko mga sinusulat ko ngaun...

Sana....

2006-07-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

and here's my answer to daph daph's plea...
words have been escaping me lately. Maybe that's why i have not been posting. Mostly I have forgotten how to write, how to put my feelings into words and how to make letters come alive. My feelings are close to mimicking a giant amusement park. Its a roller coaster of joy and depression. Its full of the confusion of laughing people and hopeful eyes. It gives the gentle whirl and comforting music of a merry go round. A merry-go-round that seems pretty but the truth is that it goes nowhere except in circles. I see the world only at a distance, like i'm atop a giant ferris wheel where i can't do anything but watch other people having fun, bask in the beautiful lights and enjoy the soft wind without actually touching it or feeling it because i feel that if i tried to become a part of it and leave my ferris wheel, i'll fall and get hurt. I see a lot of games offering great prizes but I never win. Someone else always gets what I want. All that is left for me are ugly consolation gifts that i neither want nor need. And those too in time desert me. They all leave, until I'm left alone. I remain in the middle of the crowd with people passing me but never looking at me. I'm left to watch but never be a part. Cause its just me...alone me.....

wELcOme bAcK mE!!! =)

2006-04-19T02:18:00.000-07:00

After months of silence...I welcome you back to my blog...with the new template, i might add.

Summer has started for most of us. Its nice to hear from some of my high school friends again. Although some will only be in Tarlac for a while because they need to take summer classes. Then there's me...the official homebody of the summer vacation. There's nowhere to go. So I'm enjoying the luxury of unplanned days and time filled with nothing. After all its only for two months.

I'm going to Beth's debut on Saturday which is the same night as Anne's. Why do they have to schedule these things on the same date. Now, I won't be able to go to Anne's. Shame.

My life is officially back to normal. No more weirdness and shocking events. Is that good or bad? Hmmmmmmm....

mGa baGaY sA uTaK kO!

2006-01-19T05:29:00.000-08:00

Midterms is over!...The results are not that good but its not that bad either so I guess that's fine...I think!...

I'm blabbing and blabbing now cause I miss writing. I miss it soooo much!

I went to Tarlac National High School kanina. Sinama ako nila Hazel and Jennifer. Nakakatuwa! Nilibot nila ako tapos tinuro nila mga iba't ibang places dun. Yung kung san sila tumatambay nung high school, classrooms nila, pinakilala pa ku sa teacher nila. Sabi ko nga parang nakakaligaw yung school nila. Its weird kasi before I thought hindi ko sila makakasundo kasi they all know each other from way way back and there are a lot of things I don't know about them cause wala ako nung nangyari yun pero I'm glad na npakapatient nila sa pageexplain sa mga bagay na hindi ako makarelate. Sabi ko nga next time sa Pirit nman kami pumunta, buhay ko nman ang ipapakita ko sa kanila!....=)

Then nanood ako ng sine...Exorcism of Emily Rose...hindi aku masyado natakot kasi may nagkwento n sakin kya wala na masyadong thrill...kasama ko nman nanood sila Jenny, Mona, Diane, Petong, Gigi and Keith. Nakakatawa kami katagal namin sa labas ng sinehan, nagdedebate kung ano ang papanoorin...yun saya saya...theraphy para makalimot sa problema sa schoolworks...=)

CHANGE OF MOOD
Its true what they say. Time really teaches someone so much. It even teaches one to change, to learn, to forget, or even to outgrow anything. Yes, its not easy to get away from old habits and to forget people who once became a part of your life. There are times when I feel like I would never get over it but I do and now I realize, I always do...
I saw her...the her that once made me feel like I want to break all my beliefs and my stand on stuff...the her that made me want to do the wrong thing and act abnormally even just once in my life...the her that used to drive me crazy, make me into something I'm not...and the her that turns the rational, controlled me into a weird, compulsive beyond reason person.........And you know what makes me happy now? Its the fact that even if I remember her, remember all the stuff that happened, I don't remember the feelings anymore. And yes, that makes me happy.
NOTE: Sa makakabasa nito, pag tinanong nyo ko idedeny ko pa rin tong kawirduha kong to. Pagbigyan nyo na ko minsan minsan lang naman ako maloka!...hehehe!

2006-01-13T01:26:00.000-08:00

Its midterm week next week, so i probably won't use the internet. i gotta study because I feel like my grades are falling.....fast!!! Lord help me!!!! please.....

I just got home from our PE practice. I'm really hopeless in PE, I swear! We are gonna perform a folk dance for our midterm practicum and yes, I'm bad at it! hehehe
What can I do?, I really can't dance...shoot me!

HapPy nEw yEaR!!!

2006-01-06T21:27:00.000-08:00

My first post for the new year...hmmmmmm...what can I say?

First...a journey to the past...let's reflect on my life during 2005.
January, February and March were full of the anxieties and excitement of graduating high school. It was a jumble of rushing schoolworks,newspaper and annual works and enjoying time with friends at our dear Alma Matter.
April and May was my summer vacation that was so full of questions. It was the "where will you study?" time. Decisions were made and the nervousness grows. It was also the till we meet again time for us classmates and friends.
June-October was the adjustment time. The first sem of my first year in college. So much happened that I can't mention all. Let's just say I'm happy in so many ways and grateful. I had disappointments but things worked out. Thank you Lord!
November-December, second sem started and well things got harder. I don't know if i can still keep up but I'm trying....

And the story continues....

My life is okay. Schoolwork is frustrating but that's normal...i guess...
Friends are fine...I see my high school friends when we have time and I'm glad things are still the same between us. I'm also happy with my college friends. They rock!!!....=)
Love life???...none...i'm young!..hahaha...and to repeat my, hazel's and jen's favorite newfound line..."Ayokong maghanap dahil ayokong makakita dahil ayokong makasakit!"...hehehe...diba prang galing sa pelikula...hahahaha...

Have a happy new year everyone!!! God loves us!!!

2005-12-18T18:27:00.000-08:00

Your Birthdate: February 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame.You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them.Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing.You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship.
Your strength: Your charm
Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics
Your power color: Indigo
Your power symbol: Four leaf clover
Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2005-12-06T04:40:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since I've last posted. There's so much that already happened that I don't know how to put my feelings into words anymore...

School's been weighing me down ever since second sem started. Time moves so fast that I feel like I'm having a hard time keeping up. I don't know why all of a sudden, everything just feels so heavy and weird and hard and different. Sometimes I just want to scream like I do now after my disastrous test in Accounting. I keep telling myself that its fine since I only have to endure all this until Friday then I can rest my mind during Christmas vacation then maybe by next year my mind will be clear enough to handle my subjects the way I should. Why until Friday? because next week will be University week so we won't hold regular classes...thank God!...

A lot of stuff are running through my mind right now...well what's new? I feel scared and hurt and frustrated. People say words are my forte but I always have a hard time expressing what's inside me. Actually I'm not sure where I'm getting the courage to write these weird stuff here, usually I keep everything bottled up inside me. AaaaaRrrgGhhh...what am I saying?!!!

okay...gotta go...i'll just post something when I'm normal again...merry christmas!...=)

...nOvEmbEr hAppEningS...

2005-11-03T18:46:00.000-08:00

We had a flip conference yesterday. Its been such a long time since we had done this kind of thing. Nakakahinayang lang kasi wala si Carmel, may sakit kasi sya. I had a lot of fun with them kahit sabi ni MM xado daw aku tahimik. I really missed them. Lalo n pg may pasok at madalang lang sila nkkuwi. Well at least we still find time to meet up and share stories. Masarap p ring umupo s Mcdo at kumain ng french fries at ice cream pag kasama kyo. I will never enjoy that same kind of thrill if its not you I'm with. Thank you for that...=)

Rewind s Undas...hmmmmm...my family and I went to Eternal Memorial Park in the afternoon of November 1 as we always do. I saw some of my classmates there...classmates s Pirit at s TSU. yun lang....

Excited n ko manood ng concert ng MYMP.

.....AnOthEr AngEL fOunD.....

2005-10-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

Another reason why yesterday is special...Ehdzz. Ehdzz as I've mentioned before was my friend when we were just in grade one. We met again last year and things just kind of fell into place. I always say that she is one of my life's miracles because of the way we met and the way we are keeping our friendship. We built our friendship around memories of shared lollipops and childish dreams. Now, our lives are once again intertwined and i so thank God for that. Well, we met yesterday and it made me happy. We even had our little exchange gift...para s nalalapit n Undas!..hehehe... Thank you Ehdzz...for the friendship and for telling me..."thank you xe lague k nakakaalala, wen others dont"...and same to you....mwah!...=)

Dudes....

2005-10-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

I've missed dudes...so much! Its been months since I last saw them so it was exciting for me to see them again yesterday. Well I really love these people especially since we go way way back. Ever since our paths crossed during our first year in high school, we already became inseperable. So much has happened since then and we surely had gone through a lot but its nice to think that I can still count on them to always be there for me. I love you dudes and I miss you so much!!!

.....a tOuch oF tHis anD tHaT.....

2005-10-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

I went to TSU at about nine in the morning to get my class cards. I was a little worried to tell you the truth. Well let's just say it was full of unexpected results. I still have to get two more class cards on monday which is also our enrollment day. Ibig sabihin parang gera nnman nun...hihi...

My smart unlimited text expired today. Goodbye non stop texting...I shall miss you...hehe

I saw Ehdzz today....finally... A little background: Ehdzz and I were classmates when we were in grade one at Camp Aquino Elementary School but I transferred at CHST so we never got to see each other since then. Then by some weird miracle, she saw me during last year's presscon and remembered me. We became textmates but we never got the chance to meet. This year, some of her former classmates became my classmates so we thought we'll have a better chance at meeting but we never did...yun...Today is the first time we actually saw each other. Kaya lang hello and goodbye lang kami. May lakad daw kasi sila ng former classmates nya and may lakad din aku...kaya yun...pero at least nagkita n kami...hehe...

I met my high school friends today. Well, we met for Ms Gomez's birthday but it also seemed like our own little version of a reunion. Its fun to see each other again and to hear lots of stuff about our lives in college. Its also good to think that even if we all have different lives now, we still have time to remind one another that we are still big parts of each other's lives.

I just want to mention that I thank God for giving back something that I've thought I've lost forever. Thank you for making me realize that its still a part of me and I am still a part of it. Thank you for reminding me that the real measure of visibility is not measured only through the ways that I know, rather there are also other ways to do it and there's a reason for everything. Thank you because I now know where me and this stand...and I'll always cherish what we have. As I am now sure that I'm not the only one who cares...because my friendship really was returned. Thank you Lord for making me see this finally...after so many years...Lord...thank you....

Another sem will soon start and I don't know what else is in store for me. All I know is that I'm grateful for all the things I've learned this sem. I'm glad that I survived adjusting to college.

The story goes on and on. Many more pages will be opened for more memories to be written, more lessons to be learned, more laughters to be shared and more tears to be shed. So that when the sun sets, we'll be able to face it with a full heart and a mind full of wisdom...

I am young...I have a lot of restrictions...I am burdened with pressures...and given a lot of expectations...I still have a whole world waiting for me....so take cautious steps but never forget to tread dangerous paths once in a while...Learn, Live, Be happy!!!.........Enjoy being young..it only comes once in a lifetime........=)

pRincEsS...tEtet...thE coLLegE stUdEnt!

2005-10-14T19:55:00.000-07:00

Today is officially the last day of the semester. I'm sure you're getting tired of the I can't believe how fast time flies line but well there's no other way to say it. Time really does fly and a lot of things really can happen. If I'll go back to all my previous posts for the past few months...I can definitely see so much and I can once again feel everything that had happened to me...the anxiety, the nerves, the excitement, the fear and finally...gradually, the relief and the feeling of comfort and ease.
Grabe...akala ko nun hindi ako magsusurvive...Kasi nman, I was not used to a world where I don't know anyone. I didn't know how to act and what to do. All that I know was that I miss my high school friends and the feeling of belongingness and ease. It was weird being in a place where people are calling me princess again. Nasanay kasi ako masyado s tetet..hehehe...super tahimik ko nga nun eh. As in di me talaga masyado nagsasalita. Kaya sabi nila parang ang sungit ko daw. Pero gradually as days pass I became more at ease with my new environment. Classes were now shorter but the work is still heavy. But I learn how to go through it all...with a lot of headaches and some sleep deprivation i might add...
Now...I'm officially a college student. What changed? Not much..I'm still the same old Tetet...just with a tad more confidence and filled with new experiences. I'm learning how to enjoy now and to value each day as they come because as the most used cliche goes...Time really do fly!....=)

2005-10-08T20:15:00.000-07:00

Its exam week next week....sO internet fasting nnman ako nyan!..hahaha....
weLL seM bReak n nyan...yAhoo!!!=)

2005-09-30T21:04:00.000-07:00

I took a test on tickle.com...and here's the result....=)
The question was What's your Goddess Identity?

Princess, you're an Angel!

Just like the haloed and winged guardians of good, you truly have a heart of gold, sweet Angel. Whenever there's a chance to pitch in, save the day or just make life easier for the people around you, you're the one for the job.

You don't just jump in without planning — you use your angelic head to figure out how to do things right the first time, like only the most dependable goddesses can. Whether brainstorming a new solution to a problem, planning a surprise party for your parents, or lending your friends a wing to cry on, you've got the right instincts, so follow them whenever you can. As natural as it is for you to take care of the people around you, don't forget to treat yourself right, too. The best friendships, and loves, of a lifetime tend to blossom when you become your own guardian angel.

So don't listen to those who say nice girls finish last. People have always seen you as a goddess of thoughtfulness and good intentions, and it hasn't slowed you down a bit. All in all, Angel, you've got it made with your glowing attitude and ability to see from on high. So get out there and change the world!

2005-09-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

I once found a shiny penny
I was so amazed by its beauty
Yet people around me said i'm making a mistake
that my precious penny was worthless...

But to their words I did not listen
All I saw was my penny's radiance
All i know was I love it...
and I'm keeping it...

Yet what I didn't know
was that this would not last...
Day by day, the color faded
it became as they say worthless...

I shed a lot of tears for it
I wasted a part of me feeling pain for it
What I didn't realize
was even that was a mistake...

Now, I'm left staring at an empty shell
An insignificant part of my once beautiful gift
With it are my broken dreams
and a shattered bit of the former me...and my once precious penny...

2005-09-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

I feel so tired today...well this is quite unusual because usually when its Tuesday, I get to have time to rest because I only have one class and it ends at 10:30. Yet today is different because right after that class, I had to practice for our practicum for P.E. Its kinda important because it would determine whether we still have to take written final exams...and who wants that right?...so we all have to give up our afternoons everyday for practice starting today. Our dance is calisthenics slash modern and its quite exhausting. My mind is also tired today because we have to squeeze answering 25 math problems in between breaks for practices. I still haven't read the assigned story for Filipino and I haven't read my report for Social Science yet. Then we still have to buy a practice set for Accounting...(trivia: practice set is composed of papers where business transactions are written and you have to perform the whole accounting cycle and other stuff relating to it...its like having your own business with checks and everything...) we have to do it as a project and submit it before the finals which is like only less than three weeks away. I have a partner on this so I hope we won't kill each other by the time we're done. This is just some of the reasons why I'm going crazy. AaaAaRrrgGggg....
Oh well...I had a weird conversation with my seatmate today. Actually it came out of nowhere. She just said it. Actually it reminded me of Carmel, you know when we talk about weird theories that only the two of us can understand...Well, my seatmate had this weird theory that girls who are considered "brainy" intimidates guys. She said that most guys find it hard to approach girls who are as i've said "brainy". She said that yes, a lot of guys develop crushes on them but they're afraid to make any move or to approach them in any way. Well, I don't know if that's true but I guess its her opinion.
September 26....Daph, what's with that date?...well for me, its very unforgettable. It was a day that brought me a lot of different emotions...extreme joy, extreme frustration and a lot of other things that I can't understand. It was also a day that brought me the things I so least expected. It gave me the things that my heart greatly desires, even for just a moment. For Daph....well what has that date gave you?.....hmmmmmmm....hehehe...

2005-09-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to go to an overnight thingy today for our CWS class but it got postponed. So we would probably have it next week. Oh well...
Today is eviction night for Pinoy Big Brother...wala lang...hehehe...
My mind is completely blank.I can't write....I'll just do this when I already feel like it...

2005-09-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

I dream of fairy tales...Gallant young men riding atop pretty white horses. I dream of turrets and towers of castles set high amongst the blue sky with all its cotton candy clouds. I dream of fancy balls and handsome couples, dansing the night away beneath the starry skies...My heart beats for laces and bows of floor length gowns, sparkling diamonds and pretty crowns...I crave of finding my one true love among hundreds of young men, all seeking my attention...it would be nice to stare deep into his eyes and find the light i've been looking for...Then i'll know that i'll live happily ever after...
This is the world i've been searching for...A nonexistent paradise where everything's free and exciting and neverending. A place that will teach me how to love, to dream and to imagine...Yet I know it won't come true...cause its only a dream...an illusion...A twisted version of my deepest longing and my endless desire...
Yet it is what keeps me sane...whenever I find myself about to break down and cry...I visit my wonderland and then a smile comes back...then everything turns out all right. Yet for how much longer will i feed myself with fantasies? When will I wake up and be able to tell myself that there's no more need for dreams...Cause my castle is now already in my own backyard and my happy ending is now within my grasp!...

2005-09-10T21:06:00.000-07:00

Why does life have to be so weird? You know when you are already living a completely different life...something grabs you and takes you back to the past. Then you'll stop and think about how much time you've wasted being obsessed with this and how frustrated you are that until now...it still has an effect on you...no matter how many times you tell yourself that its over. Then you go home, tell your best friend about it and then pour it all out on your online diary...thus letting the whole world know how pathetic you can be...sometimes...well i guess this is just one of "the moments"..the ones Carmel and I dubbed as temporary insanity...when you are free to forget that you are supposed to be cool and practical and reasonable and just go crazy...cry if you want to, do stupid things if you want to...anything as long as it will make you feel better...you might feel stupid after everything but at least it calmed you and it brought back the peace you so desperately want...Oh God i'm babbling again...Oh!!! I hate feeling this way because when I do...I say nonsense things...like now...owkei...i've calmed down..welcome back tetet!...Its just that i've already promised myself that i won't do this again and i won't feel this way again but sometimes things happen in a way that i have no control of...Sometimes I even think if maybe destiny has something against me...That maybe it has taken upon itself the job of wrecking my beliefs. Kasi nman madalas pag may gusto ako...out of nowhere may malalaman or makikita akong anything n sasampal sken at sasabihing hoy tumigil k nga dyan!!!!,,,,,AAaaaaRrrRrggGgghhhHhhh....
Hehe...i'm sure i'm weirding out the readers of my blog...Oh well..please bear with me...i'll try to be more sensible next time...this time please allow me to go insane...just now...

Life is a series of the unexpected...

Sometimes you get caught up in the current

with no possible way out...

Yet when i'm just about to give up

I find something to help release all of this...

I cry a little and shout a little...

And after that I paste a little smile

Then i wait...

Wait until that little grin turn out to be genuine...

2005-09-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

I've flown this world so many times
Searching for something I cannot have
With every broken dream, I shed a tear
With every lost battle, I part with a piece of my soul...
I long for someone to hold me...
To support my weak wings and help me fly
Yet though I've searched half the world...
Still I can't find "the one"
There are many times when I thought I did
Yet at the last second they all let go of me...
They get scared of who I am
They're afraid of being mine
So I continue my journey alone
Trying hard to control my flight
Fighting hard to stay up...
Yet how can I do that with just one wing
How do I reach the stars if there's something missing
How will my heart learn how to love
If there's no one brave enough to fight
If no one wants to come too close
If they're afraid of what they'll lose
Yet I won't give up...
I'll continue to search the sky
Until me and my chosen one
Come together to fly
Towards our one true star...

2005-09-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

This week is so weird and so boring at the same time...
Monday was the first day of Intrams and it was definitely not what I expected. For one thing when they said lots of people come...I didn't realize that they meant I had to go along with hundreds of people, all clamoring to get inside the gym to watch the cheering competition. It was a nightmare!...Daig ko p ang sumali s rally ng Edsa...grabe hindi to exaggeration...well sobrang galing nman nung mga kasali s competition so that's it...Then we watched the men's basketball teams...yeah! CBA rocks!!!...
Tuesday...i watched volleyball and sepak takraw...Sepak was kinda long and it got a little bit boring after a while...volleyball was fun...The play was really exciting ang yes...CBA continues to rock!!!....
Wednesday and Thursday...I didn't go to school so it was boring, boring and boring...
Something weird happened but I won't say it anymore since its not really significant....just a little surprising...
My feelings these days are also becoming weirder and weirder...but then again, I guess I just think too much...

2005-09-03T20:40:00.000-07:00

My head is once again filled with so many emotions...
Things that are yet unknown
both in my heart and soul...
Its amazing how certain simple things can make me feel this way...
Its weird...yes i know its strange...
I know that I should not feel this way...
that I have no right....
Yet I can't help myself
I cry...I get hurt...
And for what?
For something that is not even mine...
For something that can never be mine...
Cause it already belongs to someone else...
And that is something that I can't control
Its out of my hands...
So there's nothing more I can do...
but to drown myself in my own misery...
Alone...forevermore...

2005-08-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

I had been planning to post something yesterday but i wasn't able to because i did my computer project. Well it just goes to show how much can change overnight...Yesterday i was really happy, now i'm just depressed...its so weird!...
Well there's so much to be thankful for and i know that. Midterm results came out and i'm happy that my grades are fine....some more than what i expected...except Math!...well, what do I expect Math had always been one of my worst subjects...Yesterday I was also happy because of other things...events...kya lang something burst my bubble so now...i'm totally depressed...
It all started with something that i've found out through a text message...nkkainins why do this stuff always happen to me?...you know when you're happy with the way things are and then bigla kang may malalaman tpos maiisip mo sana di ko n lng yun nalaman...d sana masaya ko ngayon...hay naku!!!..alam ko weird to ako n lng nkkaintindi...hehehe....
Math is another one of my biggest problems. I'm 100% sure that I failed my math test today!...AaaAaaRrrgGghHH!!!!....
And now i'm just sad....and tired...my week has been filled with taebo practices for P.E. I kinda enjoyed it though its really hard on the body. My muscles are still aching until now!...I'm also continually coughing and really really sleepy...
Oh well...i still have classes tomorrow and i've got to get our computer project ready for the reporting next week. Then i've got to meditate so that i can stop myself from acting weird again..hehe...
Oh well...i guess i'll sleep first....

2005-08-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

its one of those days n wala kong mgawa...at nkkpanibago kya filing ko lgue kong may nkklimutang gwin....weird noh?...well kktapos lng ng midterms so this is quite expected...somewhat...
I had a YM chat with Daph yesterday...wala lang kwento kwento....I told her something that is and should be kept a secret...tama n poh ung ikaw lng ang nangaasar sken...=>
MM's news about nok nok leaving made me sad...i haven't seen her in a while and i really miss her...so I can't imagine that I might be counting years until I can see her again...I and the rest of those who love this gurl will surely miss her....=<....
A lot of things are weird these days...for one i'm not as obsessed about missing someone special as i did before...I can't really decide if its good or bad...Maybe its good in a sense that I don't need to drive myself crazy anymore thinking about why we haven't talk for so long...Then again does that mean I only wasted a good portion of my time when I did nothing but think about why we're not friends anymore..eh pwede ko nman plang maovercome?....haaaay...yoko n!!!
I am already kinda getting used to college...I'm sort of getting the hang of what's it like to wake, do this, do that...and all...and yes I laugh more now...I'm not the super depressed girl I once were when this school year started...so in a way, i'm improving...Thank God!!!....

2005-08-12T13:00:00.001-07:00

Kakatapos lang ng midterms nmin...that's why i'm so happy ksi khit papano bawas s tensyon dba?...all i have to worry about now is the results...arrrrggghhhh!!!...bahala na!...Lord help me!!!!....
E2 naisip ko lang...mukha b tlga kong masungit???....
Cath, my classmate said....alam mo nung una kita nkita nung election nten s computer class, akala ko masungit k....yung type ng tao n may sariling mundo, n hindi mo makakausap...
Diana said: ikaw nman ksi noh ang sungit sungit mo...d mo kya replyan....
Jester said: alam mo b yung pinsan ko tnatanong kung cno dw ung Cess s cell ko ksi gs2 dw nya ng txtmate....sbi ko nman wag yan noh!...bka tarayan k awayin mo p ko!!!....
so naisip ko lang masungit b ko???

CWS Today....

2005-08-12T12:37:00.000-07:00

Another Saturday which means another CWS day....so kahit n umuulan ng malakas..cgue p rin...Go!!!....khit n walang credit tong subject n to...hehehe....For others' enlightenment CWS is kinda like community service...translation?...pagdadamo n may kahalong bible study...weird noe???....anyways the funny thing about it is that our section already finished getting rid of the "talahib"...as in matataas n damo last week..at least our prof is already happy with it...so while the other sections were busy with their war against the grass n hindi nauubos...we were just sitting around singing religious songs...so ang result...pagod n pagod sila samantalang masayang masaya kmi....I love my class...mabilis kasi clang magdamo...hehehe...

The Mask

2005-08-03T20:58:00.000-07:00

For everyone I meet

I wear a mask

a simple, unobstrusive mask

something to hide myself

To protect myself

To shield myself from them...

sometimes it gets tiring

Yes, I too gets tired of hiding

Yet for me there's no other option

That I'm bound forever in this illussion

Sometimes, I even find myself wishing

If only I can wear a mask for myself too

If only its that easy to fool me...

To hide the real me from me...

Then I cry...I simply cry

And with every tear that falls from my eyes,

A piece of the mask falls away

A bit of me becomes exposed

A part of me opens to the world...

Yet at this one crucial time

No one's there to watch me cry

No one's there to see me unmask

To witness the real me at last

They only look when everything's done

Only when my courage is gone

When my mask is back

When I'm again hidden by my pretensions

A victim of my own deceptions

I guess its the reason why each and every night

Before I surrender myself to sleep

I pray for one special thing...

For one person to look deep into me

To stare deep in my eyes...

And see beyond this stupid mask...

The one who'll make me feel

that I don't have to hide anymore

No more of this masks...

No more stupid lies...

I hope I can find you soon

Cause I can't pretend anymore

I don't want to be the face behind the mask

I want to be free...

Oh Lord help me to be free...

Free to be the real me...

2005-08-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

Midterms are fast approaching...and i'm getting quite nervous...Oh Lord please help me get through our exams...
My life haven't change much since i last posted although i'm trying hard to keep myself from being so melodramatic...yet i think its already in my system...hehe....
Well, here's something cheery for a change...I've just finished reading the sixth book of the Harry Potter series...Harry Potter and the half blood Prince...Its incredible and yes i'm really addicted to JK Rowling's creations...I must admit the sixth book is full of unexpected surprises...from the development of their fight against Voldemort to Harry's love life...so for all those who, like me has a spot for Harry in their hearts...don't miss the sixth book!!!....=>
Back to the real world...my life is full of weird days spent with my new college friends, dotted with occassional times when i miss certain things and certain people so much that it makes me want to cry and other things that keeps haunting me and messing with my mind that it drives me totally crazy...
Here's one of those weird things that kept popping in my strange mind....
If things were meant to be this way then why did I have to meet these people...If they would only leave me in the end then why did I have to get too attatched and then i have to learn to let go in the end...when will i learn that things are not always what they seem...that sometimes every taste of joy and happiness can be changed to spoonfuls of pain and tears...then when i had accepted everything, someone would come and one part of my mind will say...Oh no here we go again....
Yes, i'm the world's weirdest person...I know...

For my Best Friend....

2005-08-01T20:40:00.000-07:00

Daphine Rollo Ferrer, i've read your blog and as i've said in the comments...it almost made me cry...We had known each other for years, and you've been my best friend for so long now...So I'm not trying to butt into your life or something, i just want you to know that i'm here...i'm always here...though not as visible as before...(well, we really don't have a choice right?)...i know that when we talk about such things, i have a tendency to talk and talk..you know try my weird advices and see if they'd work...but with this i know you need yourself to get over it...so if you need someone...i'll just cry with you...you know how much i love and value you so it hurts me that some idiot has the power to make you feel this way...I know God has a reason for sending Him to you and I know someday we'll both appreciate that reason more...but now...i hope you'll allow your best friend to hate the person who had taken a part of my Daph....

Business Days

2005-07-21T17:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday and today are our business days. It was a new experience for me because its the first time that i had it. It was kinda fun. It started with an opening program yesterday. Before in Holy Spirit, whenever we have an activity we always start it with the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. This time however we started with a prayer which was led by different people representing different kinds of religion. It was interesting and in a way I admire whoever came up with that idea because it gives respect to people's different beliefs and faith. After that we had some people who talked about their own success stories and other lectures. We also had booths for each year level in the CBA. Then there was the Bingo and the CBA challenge which is kinda like the Extra challenge. There was also film viewing for those who wish to watch movies. Yesterday night they also held the search for mr. and ms. CBA...i was not able to watch it however. Although those who did said it was really entertaining.
Today there was a basketball game. We shouted ourselves hoarse, cheering for our computer teacher...although sadly, they lost....the second game was the varsity players. In the afternoon there was the CBA dance idol. Nakakaaliw clang panoorin! promise!!!...hehehe..tapos nun singing contest nman!!!...Tonight will be the socialization...although i guess i won't attend....eniweyz the last two days had nevertheless been fun...and for once i can tell myself that i guess somehow i'm already adjusting...

............................................................................

2005-07-11T18:10:00.000-07:00

Life now is awfully boring. Maybe its because there's nothing eventful about my days. Days passed and i feel like i'm a robot programmed to do this and that without ever feeling it or having any kind of likeness or even hatred for it. This is something that i haven't felt ever. I feel so detatched. My friends might say that I have it easier since I'm just here in Tarlac. I don't have to adjust to new places or learn the art of independence. Yet one thing's for sure...Tarlac is not Tarlac without the people who made it feel like home. Sure, i have new friends now and i'm enjoying meeting new people but sometimes i can't help but miss the old faces. I miss the days when i don't have to make any kind of effort to belong, i just automatically feel like i do. I miss the people who knows exactly just how i feel just by the look on my face. I even miss the feel of a ton of homework coupled with a thousand other things i have to accomplish...i'm not saying that i don't have it now because i do but i don't know why...everything just seems so different now...There's also something that i miss so much...I miss writing! Oh yes i used to complain about how many writing assignments i have to do and about never ending deadlines but now that i don't do it anymore...i damn miss it!...I miss the feel of rushing..yung prang kahit pigang piga n ang utak mo kailangan may ilabas k p ksi kailangan na!...Nakakamiss din pla yung mga prang imposibleng deadlines ni Carmel..yung weekly letters,prayers,lyrics of songs and feature articles n ngpaparamdam syo n prang nauubusan k n ng adjectives...Oh God...i miss being part of the newspaper...i know bkit hindi ako mgtry s new school ko dba?...actually hindi ko alam bsta pakiramdam ko ksi right now, i'm not good enough...cguro duwag lang ako..takot magfail....These are the reasons why i feel so different. I feel like a stranger in a such a familiar place. I lost the easiness that i had before...I'm happy with my new friends now but i guess there's just a part of me that can only be filled up by some people who are not here anymore...basta Tarlac is not Tarlac without the things and the people I had grown to love....

Trivia

2005-07-09T04:35:00.000-07:00

I used to like watching Slam Dunk...and Rukawa is my favorite character...He's the quiet and masungit one who's really really good in basketball...Why is he my favorite?...i don't really know...i just have a thing for the quiet, mysterious, cute types....Examples: in meteor garden, my favorite was Hua Ze Lei..,in Naruto my favorite was Saske...Even in Fruits Basket (a cartoon series aired during saturdays), my favorite is Yuuki...well kung hindi kyo mkarelate..ok lng..hehe...basta gnun....

Random Thoughts

2005-07-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

I just had a test in math!...weLL ano p nga b?...i'm really beginning to loathe numbers!...oooppppsss...i should not come on too strong!...after all i'm taking up BS Accountancy which means in no way should i ever let the thought i hate numbers enter my head!...or else....
Another week passes again...oh well time really does have the habit of speeding up...i've been blog hopping...(blog hopping?..salita b yun?..hehe)...Anyway I was just noticing that most of my friends' blogs are kind of in the sad mood these days...So i thought that all of us really do have problems...I remembered the book Tuesdays with Morrie at the part where Morrie said that death is the great equalizer...well for me there's another thing that makes all people equal..and that's having problems in your path...what i mean is that its something that all of us do experience and nobody is really spared....Oh well...i know..i sound so weird again...
What's new with my life?...nothing much...just a bunch of exams and days spent talking with friends combined with the feeling of missing this and that...(i'm referring to events and people)....darn i'm beginning to feel like my life is becoming so boring....its so predictable...i hope something good happens...something different....
I agree with Mags and Carmel...there's so much to miss in high school...oh well i guess we just can't get over the attachment....And the fact that so much really did change ever since college started....
I'm watching news now...gosh! What's happening to the Philippines?!!!!
I know nahihilo n ang kung cno ang ngbabasa nito ksi I keep on jumping on different topics...sorry i just can't organize my thoughts...
Oh well!!!!...i still miss someone!...and someone else is messing with my mind!!!!....I can't get both of them out of my head!!!...AAAaaaRrrGgggHhhh....I hate this!
Anyway...that's it...i still have CWS tomorrow...magdadamo nnman!...saya!!!!....

HARRY POTTER

2005-07-04T17:40:00.000-07:00

One of my addictions...Harry Potter!!!....this is one of the best books ever written and the movies are equally entertaining!
Emma (who plays Hermione Granger) is so pretty here and of course who can compete with Harry Potter himself (Daniel Radcliffe)....
I'm really looking forward to the sixth installment of the book which is entitled "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" and the fourth movie...
Wala lang gusto ko lang ishare ang isa s mga nagpapasaya saken...hehehe....

A Special Day

2005-07-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

I really enjoyed yesterday. Its because I went out with my best friend Daph....Its just that it feels so long since we last went out and i really missed her!!!....Well as usual the meeting place was Mcdo...(ano p nga b?).hehe...I realized just how much i missed their Mcflurry!....Then it was shopping time...its because she has a million things to buy for herself and for the "pamamanhikan" (don't worry hindi xa yung ikakasal, ate nya!..hehe)...we went to every imaginable place....we even met Carmel at Metrotown....shopping by herself as usual!...so its walking and talking nonstop! I really did miss you guys!...
Earlier that day however, i had civic welfare training service...and i'm telling you nkkpagod ang magdamo!...Oh well that's life!!!....
I also want to thank those who are sending me comments...they are well appreciated! (khit ano p ang nkasulat s comment nyo!!!....hehe...) You are also welcome to leave your messages on my tag board!!!....
ILabyu!!!....miss n po kta margaret michelle!!!....*mwah*

Untitled

2005-07-01T17:56:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like you're losing control....you know its as if you're trying hard to teach yourself certain things but you still end up doing the one thing that you promised you won't ever let yourself do...its so frustrating right?...Its as if the universe is conspiring against you. And you can't do anything but to go along with it and to accept whatever the situation brings you...Maybe its one of the things that was said in the book "Tuesdays with Morrie"...you know, tension of opposites...its when you want to do one thing but you're bound to do another...I'm just saying all of these things because right now i'm terribly confused...I feel like i'm losing someone who really means a lot to me...i feel so lost because i know i had done everything in my power to prevent this from happening and yet it still did. I had tried so hard to save this friendship cause God knows it means the world to me...but is this what's meant for us? At this moment i can't really explain how i feel. A part of me is disappointed because after everything, i'm back where i started....another part is angry because i'm realizing that i'm the only one caring for this friendship while it means nothing to this person and the other part is just plain sad...like a part of me had died...Now i'm at a point where i don't know what to do and i don't know what to think..i hate feeling this way and i hate this person for having the power to make me feel this way. All i know right now is that i want to escape this feeling. I want to be free from the thought of longing to see this person once more and to go back to the way things were...Right now, there's nothing in my mind but questions and i pray that somehow i'll get answers. All i want is to save something that i had treasured and valued...but i guess if its not really meant for me then i'll just learn to accept it....somehow...

Just Scribbling

2005-06-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

There was some kind of an assembly in school wherein they tell you the house rules and such. Actually its only for our department. It was fine but after a while it got a little boring.
Life's the same...going to classes, doing homework, talking with friends...

-------------------------------------------------
in every road you take in life
you have to accept the consequences
i know its an old cliche
but life really is not a bed of roses...

Sometimes you meet people
you think will stay forever
until one day you wake up
and you realize they're gone forever...

You realize that all your thoughts of forever
are just senseless dreams of a silly girl
Another of the things that exists in the mind
but never in real life...

Then you learn to say goodbye
not because you want to
but because you have to
cause there's nothing else left to do...

yet sometimes you can't escape
the sad little thought in the back of your head
the one that says...
No matter how many times you get hurt
you'll still be happier when you're back together once again...

watever...

2005-06-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

Two weeks had passed since the first day of school...yup yup!!!..its back to the basics of school. I mean if there's something that's the same in schools that's the endless amount of work and mind drilling tests. The sad news is kelangan kong balikan ang college algebra n sinubukan kong takasan nung 4th year! Oh my gosh! Its haunting me!!!...hehehe...Its Friday and tinatamad n ko kya lng i still have saturday classes pro ok lng at least its just cws. I can handle that ...(i think!)
I'm now adjusting. Its easier to wade through the flow of college life now. I'm getting use to the fast pace of lessons, quizzes and professors that can be likened to mushrooms ..wehehe...Next week we'll start wearing our uniforms. Wala lang gusto ko lang sabihin. I'm missing a lot of people. Oh yes! Especially someone who disappeared completely as in completely from my life! (to those reading this its not who you think!) ...sana magparamdam xa (again, i'm sure its not who you think!)......
Oo nga pala sowee s mga taong hindi ko narereplyan. Naghihirap lng po ako...walang lowd!..hehe...especially daph daph!!!...di bale love p rin kita!..hehehe...emem miss n rin kita!...*mwah*
I miss Mcdo..hehe..its weird but i haven't been there for the longest time. I think my last visit was during our last flip conference ages ago...oh well....
i also haven't been anywhere except our house and school these past few days. I don't know why...
Well yun lang...i can't think of anything else right now...i'll scribble later....=>

Me? A Freshie?

2005-06-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

Today is just the second day of classes. Yet for me it felt like ten years. Being in college is surely a lot of hard work. It requires a lot of patience and so much adjustments. Its weird being in this new school where everything is unfamilliar.Gone were the days when i can walk down the hall and name almost everyone i meet. Gone were the familliar tambayans and the faces that i knew so well. I had been removed from my comfort zone. Instead i am placed in a world where everything is new. Classes are shorter but a lot more demanding and truly intimidating. The work is unnerving and i can feel the pressure on my shoulders. This is not high school anymore. Its already real life and that requires seriousness. I can no longer take for granted the things that I once did. Most of all i miss my friends. I miss the people that i can talk to. Before, everything comes easy because i know i can always count on somebody. Though I was piled down with work before, its okay because I know I have friends who are willing to work with me and so everything becomes fun. I'm not saying that college is horrible. Its just different. I'm making new friends now. I'm enjoying the liberty. I am enjoying the new campus and the canteen. I am enjoying the experience. Yet i can't escape the little thought behind my mind that says will i ever adjust? Will i ever quit thinking about my former life and how much i miss it? Next time I want to be able to say firmly that yes I am a freshie now! No more questions and misgivings. I just hope that i'll also find happiness in my new life.

hAppY beTday!!!

2005-06-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

bErtday ni mama yesterday!!!

Happy Birthday

Mama!!!!

I love you!!!

Orientation

2005-06-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, i got my first dose of my new school because of our orientation. It was somewhat enjoyable kahit n nakakapanibago. I mean it was kinda weird seeing all those new faces instead of the old ones that i'm familliar with. It was a normal orientation, full of talks about the school's history and rules and such. With it of course are the normal ice breakers and intermission numbers. I particularly enjoyed the performances. The ones made by their dance troupe was so beautiful. I've never seen anything like it. The choral's voice was also heavenly. So despite the heat and the crowd, i still enjoyed my first taste of colklege life.

CeekAy!!!

2005-06-02T12:35:00.000-07:00

Since inutusan kitang bsahin ang blog ko...here's a post for you...pra sumaya k..hehe
iLabyu gurl!!!
you'll always be one of my closest friends...
uUUuumMWaAaaahHhhh....

Flip Conference...

2005-06-01T19:20:00.000-07:00

I went to Holy spirit today to help the other Annual staffers in arranging pictures. It feels so weird to think that its not appropriate anymore to call it my school because technically its already not. The pictures also sent me some feeling of nostalgia. Yet i know they should also be a reminder of what i had...of what i still have and of how lucky i am that i was able to experience so much.
Afterwards we went to Magic Star to have one of what we call "Flip Conference". Its when we just sit around at Mcdonalds and just talk and talk for hours on end. I just want to say that i had truly enjoyed the times we did this. Its amazing how many hours we spent eating french fries and indulging in our "heaven"...while chatting and joking. I'm beginning to hate myself for being so melodramatic but really i can't help it. And right now i'm really on the verge of becoming emotional especially when i think about the fact that right at this moment they could all be packing their things to set out in their new world and leaving me behind....yet i'm also happy because i know they're going after their dreams sabi nga ni Inna they're not really leaving me they're just treading the paths they think will make them better persons. Kaya yun, alam ko din nman i will also tread the path n will make me a better person...
Now i'm back home in front of my computer, writing about these things. I had gained a lot from this day kasi nadagdagan yung memories. O diba dumadami ang napopost ko dito...hehe...
Sana in the future i'll again enjoy another flip conference....
LaByaH guys...
Nga pala miss ko na berks ko...uy dudes i haven't seen you in a while..txt me otei!!! mWaaaAAAHhhh

SERIES OF THOUGHTS

2005-05-29T18:20:00.000-07:00

-My mom and i went to Manila yesterday to visit my sister and pra maglibot...hehehe..masaya pero nkkpagod tlaga...
-I went to the bookstore yesterday and found out that lalabas n yung sixth installment in the Harry Potter seriesIts called. Harry Potter and the Half blood Prince..i'm excited because that's one of my addictions.
-I talked to Nikki today ntawa ko ksi pareho cla ng cnabi sken ni Jaja recently..its namiss daw nila ako ksi wla n cla inaasar. I told her that and she said its only because hindi ako npipikon agad...yun lang..
-I miss my friends...
-I'm nervous of going to my new school.

Just Thinking...College n pala...

2005-05-27T03:51:00.000-07:00

I was just reading my friendster's bulletin board when i came across something that made me think. Well it was Carmel's post about her plans for college and how she ended up with philo as a course when it was never her plan...Well it made me think about my own decisions...and i must agree with her when she said that as time passes you will learn to accept your decisions and see them as something which is for the best...Siguro you're thinking what am i talking about right? Well i'm talking about my school. When the school year started i was set that i would study here in Tarlac kasi baka di nmin kayanin pg s ibang lugar ako nag-aral and dito rin nman kasi nag-aral ang ate ko and as my mother always says she finished school and got on fine. So yun na yun kya lang i can't resist temptation kya i decided to take the UPCAT khit alm ko mtanggap man ako bka hindi rin ako payagan. Naisip ko ksi npaka far fetched n papasa ako since ang hirap nga diba..so i took the test and forgot about it..that is until the results came and i found out natanggap ako s Diliman. Parang bumaligtad yung mundo. Suddenly there was all these people telling me that its the chance of a lifetime. I even jokingly called them "Naglalakad na Brochures". Gumugulo utak ko mainly because though i was accepted hindi s course n gusto ko. My friends said ok lng pwede nmang mag shift. My family was saying dito n lng ako s course n gusto ko.
Ang gulo tlaga pero in the end i still have to make the Decision...and that is staying here. Nung una hindi ako convinced kasi yung utak ko punong puno ng what ifs. Pero ngayon as i've said habang tumatgal nttanggap ko na. Medyo npapalitan n ng nerves and excitement yung confusion. Ready n nga siguro akong iembrace ang bago kong buhay. Sana lang mging msaya ako dun at mapatunayan kong hindi ako nagkamali....Sana nandun nga yung star n i'm meant to follow. Pero i'm sure whatever happens nman, God and my angels will always guide me...And besides whatever happens College n ko!!!...=>

Aaaaargh

2005-05-18T05:55:00.000-07:00

Haaaay...ang sakit ng ulo ko!
My day started with something sad. We attended the funeral of one of our teacher's mom...it was really sad. Actually nag choir kami. Kaya yun...
After that kumuha ako ng uniform.Ang haba ng pila sooobra! Tapos nung malapit n ko sbi nung nandun bumalik n lng dw kmi ng one! Grabe...kakainis! I went back at around 12:30. Natapos din ako ng mga 2:30. In fairness ginutom ako ksi d ako kumain. Alam ko ssbihin nila daph pag nabasa nila ito. Sasabihin nila matigas ang ulo ko!!! Opo alam ko!
Kaya ngayon mas lalo akong nagdusa. Mas lalo akong hindi nkapunta s b-day ni bon. Ang sakit kasi ng ulo ko! And to think pagdating ko ng bahay narealize ko large yung nabigay n shirt so kailangan ko ipapalit..lumulubog ako..hehe...haaaay...watta nice day!

HAPPY B-DAY

2005-05-18T05:51:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BON!!!!!!!!!!
LAB YAH DUDE!!!!!!
MWAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moment of Weirdness

2005-04-21T17:05:00.000-07:00

What makes a person happy? Sometimes i find myself wondering kung ano b dpat ang mron s buhay pra msabing tlagang msaya k...ewan ko b kng bkit pumapasok to s utak ko. Siguro nkasumpong lng talaga ang topak ko..Or maybe i'm just remembering lessons i've learned in life and i guess isa to s mga yun...
Noon kasi there was this person that i really really like. During those times i always prayed and i told God, makilala lang ako ng taong to mgiging masaya n ko. But when that finally happened prang i was not contented. Hindi ako nasiyahan s simpleng alam lng nya ang pangalan ko. I wanted that person to be my friend. Nangyari nman eh...sort of...hndi ko alm prang lagi ksing may kulang. I'm happy kpg ngkksama kmi but that was not often. We would joke a lot and i felt comfortable with that. Inaasar nya ko lagi and i like it ksi nararamdaman kong kung di sya at ease skin hndi sya mgkkaroon ng guts n asarin ako. Kaya lang it was not really meant to be. Kasi after a while several issues came up kya nwala yung pgging at ease nya sken. Inis n inis ako nun ksi nman akala ko we had a chance for real friendship. Some of my friends said that its not merely friendship that i want pero in my heart i know friendship lng tlaga ang gusto ko...nothing more...ksi if i did dpt nung una p lng gumawa n ko ng paraan pra dun but i did not do so because i know deep in my heart hindi yun yung gusto ko...
Now kung iisipin dpat khit papano nging msaya ako ksi in some ways n grant nman ung ibang prayers ko pero that didn't happen...short lived lng yung happiness. I once read somewhere n kpg short lived ang happiness, hindi genuine...cguro 22o yun or cguro din i just think too much...Ah basta!!!...yun n yun..wirdo ko noe???

SOMEBODY

2005-04-21T02:11:00.000-07:00

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this I'll get away with it

2005-04-18T06:11:00.000-07:00

Used to see in black and white
never really in between
waiting on the love of my life
to come into my dreams
everything in shades of gray
never any blues or green
needed someone else to turn to
someone who could help me learn to see
all the beauty that was waiting for me

You,you put the blue back in the sky
you put the rainbow in my eyes
a silver lining in my prayers and now there's color everywhere
you put the red back in the rose
just when i needed it the most
you came along to show you care
and now there's color everywhere, everywhere

My life is so predictable
never any mystery but ever since you shined the light
all of that is history and now I have a hand to hold
and a reason to believe...
There's someone in my life worth living for
I was hangin' around just wishing on a star
To put the happiness back in my heart

And you,you put the blue back in the sky
you put the rainbow in my eyes
a silver lining in my prayers and now theres color everywhere
you put the red back in the rose
just when i needed you the most
you came along to show you care
and now there's color everywhere...

2005-04-17T07:22:00.000-07:00

Can't Take That Away
They can say anything they want to say
Try to bring me down
But I will not allow
Anyone to succeed
Hanging clouds over me
And they can try hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter
In what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams
Chorus:
'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me
From me
They can do anything they want to you
lf you let them in
But they won't ever win
If you cling to your pride
And just push them aside
SeeI have learned there's an inner peace I own
Something in my soul
That they cannot possess
So I won't be afraid
And darkness will fade
'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me
NoThey can't take this
Precious love
l'll always have inside me
Certainly the Lord will guide me
Where I need to go
They can say anything they want to say
Try to break me down
But 1 won't face the ground
I will rise steadily
Sailing out of their reach
Oh Lord
They do try hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter
In what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams
'Cause there's a light in me that shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me
From me

APOLOGY

2005-04-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

This post is for someone really close to me...
Well this is just a simple apology. The reason...meddling! I know you told me not to do that thing anymore but I did not listen so now i had succeeded in digging a deeper hole for the both of us. I know instead of helping you with your situation, i had pushed you even further. I hate myself for that. Sorry because i did not know when to stop. I'm sorry because i was stupid enough to believe in my mindless theories. I'm sorry for not being sensitive. I know you already told me that its alright and that we're better off this way because now we get to see the truth. Yet maybe the saying what you don't know won't hurt you is true. and maybe that is what i should have applied on you. Now that some questions were answered the pain doubled. Yes I'm aware of that. But its done and as what i have said no more theories, its time to face facts...though how much it hurts.
I'm sorry...that's all i can say and don't worry even if you lose a thousand ones who are like him, I'm still here...I'll always be here. And so are the rest of your friends...Love you friend...I'm sorry

FINALLY!!!

2005-04-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

After such a long long time...nakapagpost n ko ulit!!! Well the main reason why d me nkkpgpost is dhil s nasira ang aming phone so hindi me nkkpginternet. So here goes...
ENCHANTED KINGDOM
Last April 5, I together with my berks went to EK. It was my first time there! promise!!! We had a grand time daring each other to ride the Space Shuttle which of course I did not do since I'm eternally afraid of such things! We also had a ball getting wet in the jungle log jam and the Rio Grande. Malas n lng ng iba smin tulad ko n ntapat s waterfalls. Luckily we were all bringing clothes. My friends also enjoyed teasing me because according to them hindi sulit ang binayad ko! What can I do? Nerbyosa tlaga ako!!!hehehe...
Yet if you want to know what the main event of the day is...its the fact that we arrived too early at the place. In fact we left Tarlac at around 4 in the morning and because there's no traffic we arrived at around 7:30. We thought that EK will open at 10 so we took a detour to Tagaytay and ate there . Yet when we arrived back at Laguna we found out that EK will open at 2pm pa and its only ten. What a disaster right?
Yet us being us we decided to make the most of the situation and went to a nearby mall to kill time. But its still so boring. The mall was so small and in less than an hour we had managed to see the whole place. So our last resort? Internet. We went to an internet shop and indulged ourselves in friendster and chat. But our bill is running high and so we left the place and sat at the food court instead. That's when I realized, I hate being idle!!!
There you have it, our adventure at the Enchanted Kingdom. We left the place at 10 in the evening happy but with no money!..hehe..We arrived at Tarlac at around 12:30. Wheeeew! watta day!

CARD DAY!!!
Rewind to a few days before...April 1 and we'll find ourselves in card day. I went to school to get my card at around 10:30 only to find out that I can't get it because of our "utangs" to the annual! So we spent the whole morning rushing articles just so we can get our card that day. Finally we finished everything and was able to get our cards though we had to endure our hunger. We ate Lunch at past one....

FACT OR FICTION PART II

2005-03-31T09:06:00.000-08:00

CONFESSIONS
I will now leave you...someone that twisted my mind for more than a year. I will now try to break the spell you cast on me. I don't even know what came over me when i met you. I'm not even someone who likes as in like people easily but when i met you, i dunno, its as if i got totally twisted. You were able twist me around your little finger without even doing anything.
You taught me how to believe in coincidences. I learned to ask God for signs. I believed some and yes somehow God answered some of my prayers. Yet there's always a drawback. We didn't really get to be really good friends like I wanted. Acquaintances..yes..Friends?not really.
Now, i have to learn goodbye. You won't care I'm sure but this is still my way of erasing whatever it is that is continually hunting me. From now on, i'll forget whatever it is that happened. You will remain as part of my memory but I will now draw the line there. This is the time to correct whatever mistakes I made ever since you came into my life.
From now on i'll be free. And I'll be happy. Thanks for teaching me thing s about life without meaning to. And thank you because you still became a part of me...somehow.
I know you won't see this ever and probably won't care. At least its over. Goodbye.

KAARAWAN NI FLIPPO

2005-03-31T04:23:00.000-08:00

Emem's birthday....we had real fun at her house. We had a blast talking, eating and laughing. Ayaw n nga nming umuwi eh..hehehe..
Nag choir din kmi. Ang saya!

OFFICIAL GRADUATES

2005-03-31T03:42:00.000-08:00

Let's start with what happened yesterday...it was our first day as "official high school graduates" pero as usual khit kttpos lng ng grad eh nsa school nnman kami. We had our Annual meeting. Tapos we went to the mall. It was one big adventure lalo na kay Daph..hehe. One thing's for sure hinding hindi n nya mkklimutan ang How Sweet. Let's not get into details kasi baka awayin ako ni Daph pag nbasa nya. Well let's just there's more to our trip than just a simple task of gift hunting. Afterwhich we went to Daph's house and ate palabok again kasi iun din kinain nmin s school. We hang out there for a while. i was with Inna, Daph, Carmel, Bon, Ayrra, Jovelle and Monique. Tpos we went back to the mall para gumandus..hehehe..actually ngtour lng kmi s arcade. Ang saya!!! Nginternet din. Then we discovered a new heaven. NAME: Mccollosso STREET NAME: King Cone...=>

FACT OR FICTION

2005-03-22T04:20:00.000-08:00

When I first met her, I never knew that we'll get closer. She's nothing more than an acquiantance to me. In fact I found her really annoying. Maybe its the way she talks or carries herself. Whatever it is I know only one thing at that time..she's not the type of person I want to get closer to. All of this changed a few years later however. It was when we got the chance to talk with each other. And I mean REALLY TALK, not just the shallow conversations we had before. That's when i found out that this girl is not who I thought she was. Nalaman ko ksi n mron plang mbait at sensitive side behind dun s naka2inis n personality n nkita ko noon. That's the start of our friendship. Friendship n hndi gnun kabulgaran..s totoo lng mnsan mnsan lng kng mg-usap pro enough n yun pra msabng she had touched a big part in my life. Through her I learned so much about life. I saw her when she's happy and that made me see the beauty of everything. I saw her cry and that made me realize that life will never be perfect. In her I learned never to judge anyone easily because sometimes people may have a lot more than what they show to others. She also made me believe in chances and that God allows us to explore different sides of ourselves because we're two very different persons. Yet that did not stop us from getting closer and from being friends. Rather that made our relationship even more exciting and utterly rewarding. So I want to thank this person for coming into my life. Thank you because you were able to make me a better me. You had filled a part of my heart even though I don't come ryt out nd say it...Basta all I know is that everyday I thank God because He had given you to me. I'll remain a friend for this person and I hope she will too...forever...=>

GRAD SHOES

2005-03-21T19:00:00.000-08:00

For the last few weeks ever since graduation practices started, my dilemma was that I can't find time to buy my graduation shoes. This is mostly because of work I have to do both for the newspaper and annual not to mention our research project. I even got a lot of scoldings from my mom because she said we will never get to buy anything at that rate.
Finally after a long long time, I finally got to go out with my mom and buy. We did this yesterday because I really need the shoes today! So there it is after looking after pairs and pairs of shoes, I finally picked one. Sa wakas!!!
I thought that's where it all ended pero I found out I had bigger problems because after only half a day in them, I'm already starting to appreciate the value of flat shoes. Ang sakit pala s paa ang naka heels!!! Hindi n nga nmin kinaya umakyat n kmi s clasrum ng nakapaa!...
So there it is the tragic story of my grad shoes...(exaggeration b?)...basta yun n yun! =>

2005-03-21T03:57:00.000-08:00

Graduation na!!!

2005-03-21T03:55:00.000-08:00

Ang cute talaga ni Pooh!!!

GOODBYE

2005-03-21T02:59:00.000-08:00

Time is definitely running out
In a few days time I'll be saying my goodbye
I'll move on to another life
I'll meet new people and make new memories...

Yet a part of me stays
A part of me belongs here forever...
Most importantly a part of my heart
will always belong to people who are truly special...

Not all my dreams came true in high school
I also experienced failure
but my unfulfilled wishes are nothing
compared to the lessons I learned from the experiences...

Now as I continue treading my path
A prayer will always linger
that someday when I meet all these people again
I'll be able to smile and say...

"I had been a great part of what these people have achieved and who they had become"

=thanks for making me into me=

FALLING FOR YOU

2005-03-20T10:55:00.000-08:00

What is this I'm feeling
I just can't explain
When you're near
It's not just the same

I try to hide it
Try not to show it
Its crazy
how could it be?

I've fallen for you
finally my heart gave in
and i've fallen in love
i finally know how it feels
so this is love

When you said hello
I look in your eyes
And suddenly I felt good inside
is this really happenin
or am I just dreaming
I guess its true
I can't believe

I've fallen for you
Finally my heart gave in
and I've fallen in love
I finally know how it feels
so this is love

It doesn't matter where I am
Thoughts of you still linger in my mind
No matter what time of day
I'm really really fallin for you

PEOPLE WHO HAD TOUCHED MY LIFE

2005-03-20T10:40:00.000-08:00

1. Daphine Ferrer
my best friend of many years. She had been there when I truly needed someone beside me.
2. BERKS
Ayrra- pretty big eyes
Bon- tall and weird
Aimee- macho; quiet but naughty
Jovelle- sweet little girl
Abbie- masungit pero sweet
Monique- astrogirl; my bigpie
Micah- notorious chick
Raissa- pink monster
Daph- Einstein
3. Kaycee Roxas
my constant kadaldalan; mirror fanatic
4.FLIP AUTHORITY
Carmel- small but terrible
Inna- super intelligent pro fashionista
MM- the LIGHT of my life..hehe
with/ Chachu- twelve coh
Nona- kambal ko
5. My Four Love Family
the best class ever!
6. my school bus mates
my partners in crime..hehe

thanks for making me into who I am now. Tnx for completing me...=>

THE SHIELD

2005-03-19T02:26:00.000-08:00

Today, I went to school for the newspaper's lay-out. I was not much of a help but its still a lot of fun. We had a blast talking about everything under the sun.(it was really EDUCATIONAL!)=> It was also kinda sad because we know its already our last..huhu..Afterwhich we all went to Mcdo and ate our lunch there. (ang sarap ng king cone promise!!!) Then we went to Metro. We really enjoyed the arcade. Sabi nga ni Nona meron n kming bgong hobby..hehe..mabisang theraphy daw pra s mga problematic...We also went to Daph's house (my best friend) to print our project. In short ginawa nming computer shop'; return true;" style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 3px double; TEXT-DECORATION: none" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;" href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=22&k=computer%20shop">computer shop yung bhay nila!
Hmmmm..what else?..oh we also thought about how funny it was that the lower years are all at home studying for their exams while we're in the malls..hehe..
How do I feel about it?..Happy yet there's a a small cloud...I still can't help thinking about graduation and the fact that in a short time we'll soon say our farewells and it may be a really long time until we can do this again.However i still believe this...

There's no such thing as permanent farewells
If we say goodbye today
We're bound to meet again someday

BEAUTIFUL SOUL

2005-03-19T02:22:00.000-08:00

[Chorus]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

[Verse #1]
I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

[Chorus]
Your beautiful soul, yeah

[Verse #2]
You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry, c'mon let's try

[Chorus]
[Break]

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just want to know that you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

[Chorus 2x]
Your beautiful soul, yeah...

TRUE

2005-03-19T02:15:00.000-08:00

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you

I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true I

know when I goI'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

UNTITLED

2005-03-18T21:56:00.000-08:00

I saw you again today
my heart hammered
I can't believe after all this time
Your face still lingers in my mind
All i wanted was a simple smile
A glance in my way sometime
But i didn't get any of that
Instead all I got
is pain deep within my heart
All I can do now
is utter my silent prayer
Hope that someday
I can find the one
who I can call mine

RECOLLECTION

2005-03-18T04:55:00.000-08:00

Today is our recollection. We do this every year ever since i can remember...This time however I feel something different about it. Maybe because I know its already our last. hmmmmm..nagdadrama nanaman ako..huhu..basta ang alm ko sobrang dami ko mamimiss dito. As in tlaga..

Together we had shared, the best days of our lives...
The same smile had once touched our faces...
The same tears had fallen from our eyes...
Now we are all standing at the end
All waiting to cross the finish line...
All that we have now are the memories...
I hope wherever life takes us...
Whatever we go through or whoever we become...
I hope someday we'll find each other on the same line...
With all of us holding our own star...
Shining brightly and all happy...
Because we know we had all made it...=>

Stress!!!

2005-03-17T21:30:00.000-08:00

Hi! Kung di ko lng tlaga mhal c emem, sumigaw n ko!!!hehe...dis is already my tenth article and promise i'm not exaggerating...grabe ang hrp p lng magpafeature...if u dnt understand wat i'm saying, let's just say it has sumting to do with me wanting to see my picture on the school paper. at recently dahil nhawa n ko kay Chachu, pra n rin s dewberry...=>
Lyf at our school is always the same dis days..endless practices and such...

THINGS I'LL MISS AT CHST
1. my friends
2. the green tables
3. our classroom
4. food na lging nauubos!
5. my writing assignments
6. the teachers
7. the bowers
8. ung mga acacia
9. chits
10. ung mga events!